What to do if your loved one refuses help

Caring for a loved one with dementia can be challenging, especially when they refuse help. Here are some practical tips to encourage them to accept assistance.

Be patient and understanding

It’s important to approach the situation with patience and empathy. Understand that your loved one might feel scared, confused, or embarrassed about needing help. Acknowledge their feelings and reassure them that you’re there to support them.

Communicate calmly and clearly

When talking to your loved one, use a calm and reassuring tone. Keep your sentences short and simple. Avoid arguing or trying to convince them forcefully. Instead, gently explain why the help is necessary and how it benefits them.

Offer choices

Giving your loved one some control can make them feel more comfortable. Offer choices whenever possible. For example, ask if they would prefer to take a shower in the morning or evening or whether they’d like to wear a blue or green shirt. This approach helps them feel involved in decisions about their care.

Introduce help gradually

Sometimes, introducing help slowly can make it easier for your loved one to accept. Start with small tasks and gradually increase the level of assistance. For instance, begin by helping with just one daily activity, like preparing meals, before moving on to others.

Use positive reinforcement

Praise and encouragement can go a long way. When your loved one accepts help, express your appreciation and acknowledge their cooperation. Positive reinforcement can make them more willing to accept help in the future.

Involve a trusted professional

Sometimes, advice from a healthcare professional can be more readily accepted. Involve a doctor, nurse, or social worker who your loved one trusts. They can explain the importance of assistance and help persuade your loved one to accept help.

Seek support for yourself

Caring for someone with dementia can be exhausting. Don’t hesitate to seek support for yourself. Join a support group, talk to a counsellor, or connect with other caregivers. Taking care of your own well-being enables you to better care for your loved one.

Consider professional care options

If your loved one continues to refuse help and their safety or well-being is at risk, consider professional care options. Home care services or assisted living facilities might provide the necessary support in a more acceptable way for your loved one.