How to tell your grandchildren

Talking to your grandchildren about your dementia diagnosis might feel challenging, but it’s important to be open and honest with them. Here are some tips to help you have this conversation in a gentle and understanding way.

Choose the right time and place

Pick a quiet and comfortable place where you can talk without interruptions. Make sure you have enough time to answer their questions and reassure them.

Use simple language

Explain dementia in a way that’s easy for children to understand. You can say something like:

• "Grandma/Grandad has an illness called dementia. It makes it harder for me to remember things and sometimes I might forget your name or our plans."

• "My brain isn't working as well as it used to, and I might need more help with things."

Be honest and reassuring

It’s important to be truthful but also comforting. Let them know that:

• "It's okay to feel sad or confused. I'm still the same person, and I love you very much."

• "There are doctors and medicines that are helping me, and I have people to support me."

Encourage questions

Allow your grandchildren to ask questions and answer them as best as you can. If you don’t know the answer, it’s okay to say so. You can find out together later.

Share positive moments

Talk about the things you can still do together. Focus on positive activities and reassure them that you can still have fun and enjoy time together.

Use stories and examples

Using stories or examples can help children understand better. You might say:

• "Sometimes I might forget where I put things, like my keys. It’s like when you forget where you left your favourite toy."

Be patient

Your grandchildren might need time to process this information. They may have more questions later, and their feelings might change over time. Be patient and ready to talk whenever they need to.

Use resources

There are books and videos designed to help children understand dementia. Consider using these resources to help explain the situation. 

An example of this is The Dragon Story a short cartoon that helps to explain dementia to children: https://www.gloriousopportunity.org/thedragonstory.php

Talking to your grandchildren about your dementia diagnosis can help them understand what’s happening and feel more secure. Remember to keep the conversation simple, honest, and loving. Let them know that, despite the changes, your love for them remains the same.