If you sense you might be living with dementia you’re likely to be feeling a huge range of emotions. How you feel will depend on your personal circumstances and your personality type – everyone is unique, so how you receive the news will be unique – but there are some common emotions expressed after a diagnosis.
When you’re worried about dementia, it’s very normal to feel:
Numb
Shocked
Scared
In denial
Sad
Hopeless
Helpless
Anxious
Worried
Depressed
Angry
Disbelief
Grief
Exhausted and tired
Relief
It’s also very common to cycle between these emotions very quickly – to feel down and despondent one minute but angry or numb the next. This is because you are trying to process your thoughts and feelings. But it also might be because when you’re living with dementia it can be tricky to manage your emotions.
Changing moods
You and those closest to you might notice that you have less control over your emotions right now. You might react impulsively or quickly to things that wouldn’t have bothered you in the past.
You might also find you feel irritated or moody about things that those around you perceive to be small or meaningless. It’s important to recognise that this is part of the dementia and comes from changes that are going on in your brain.
But some of these emotions might also come from frustration, anger and fear at not being able to think as quickly or clearly as you once might have done. Sometimes anger also comes from feeling scared about what’s happening to you or feeling uncertain about your future. All of this is normal.
How you might feel about yourself
Some people feel incapable once they hear the word ‘dementia’. The news can knock your confidence and affect your self-esteem. It’s normal to feel this way, especially when your emotions are all over the place and it can take time to absorb and understand your news. But know that there are things you can do to help yourself. Read more about how to improve your wellbeing here
It’s not all negative
Not knowing what’s happening to you can be scary so some people say they feel huge relief when they receive their diagnosis. This comes from being able to put a name to why they are struggling at work or with relationships or everyday life.
Once you know what’s going on for you, you can take action and put plans in place, which feels positive and purposeful after a period of uncertainty.
Talking helps
Whatever you’re feeling right now, know that it’s all normal and you’re not alone. There are support groups you can talk to and experts who can answer your questions. Our discussion forums are full of people like you who understand exactly how you’re feeling.
If you feel you’re struggling with your thoughts and feelings speak to Dementia UK - they have experts who can help. You can even book a video call with them here or call them on 0800 888 6678.
You can also access talking therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) via the NHS – speak to your GP about this or access help here
If you want to seek help urgently, look for a qualified counsellor who has experience of working with people with a dementia diagnosis. Try an organisation like the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) as well as other online directories.