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Staying Independent

Helping the person remain active and independent

While a person with dementia may need help and support, it’s understandable that they will want to remain as active and independent as possible for as long as possible. We all need a focus and purpose in life. It’s not a good thing for the person to be sitting down all day waiting for you to come in and do everything for them. Too much sitting or doing nothing can lead to boredom, frustration and mood swings.

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Although your role may be to care for the person, it’s important to appreciate the situation from their viewpoint and understand they may want to keep doing as many things for themselves. While you may be there to perform certain tasks and provide support, try to encourage them to do what they can. 

For instance, if you’re making lunch, get the person involved in food prep. If you’re doing domestic chores, the person may want to help. Avoid telling them you’ll do it much quicker on your own. You’re not just there to provide care for the person. Your role is also to empower them where you can so that they can enjoy a good quality of life where they feel valued.

If the person wants to help you with household tasks, such as changing bed linen, folding towels or anything that gives them a purpose, then it should be positively encouraged.

The person may also want to maintain an active social life and go out from time to time. Try to support them to do this. Help with arrangements for them to interact with friends and neighbours over tea or coffee.

Fresh air will benefit the person’s mood and wellbeing. Even if they aren’t very mobile, and can’t walk for a long, a few steps to the end of the driveway is better than being stuck indoors all day. Encouraging the person to venture out into the garden is a good idea. They may want to admire plants or simply enjoy the fresh air.

Dementia can significantly impact a person’s confidence and self-esteem. They may want to pursue their hobbies but lack confidence in their ability to do so. Encourage and support where you can. 

How to help the person maintain some independence

  • Do things together, without taking over. Let the person have input on tasks, and never say things like: ‘It would be quicker if I do it myself’.

  • Focus on the positive, which means focusing on tasks the person can do, rather than things they can’t.

  • Break tasks down into smaller steps so that they don’t seem too daunting.

  • Don’t give longwinded instructions and don’t try to give the person too much information at once.

  • Be patient. Make sure you allow extra time for tasks or for the person to get ready if you are going out. 

  • Frame the situation as the person helping you to complete a task, rather than them holding you up by being slow. Always offer positive encouragement.