Be patient, and don’t fill in the blanks when the person can’t remember words. Give the person plenty of time to speak. Over time, communication can become more of a struggle and conversations can become limited. There may be less to talk about if the person hasn’t done much that day, or can’t remember what they have done. Or they may be unable to interact with you if you talk about your day.
The person may understand what you’ve said but be unable to answer you. Slowing your speech down and keeping sentences shorter can help. Then allow the person plenty of time to answer.
Have opinion-based conversations
A good way to get the person to engage in conversation with you is to ask opinion-based questions. Opinions can’t be wrong as they are unique to each individual. Rather than ask the person what they had for breakfast or what they did yesterday, which requires them recall information, ask questions they can answer fairly easily.
For instance, you might show them photos of clothes in a catalogue, and ask them to choose their favourite outfit. Even if they are unable to speak or say more than a few words, they may be able to point. Show them pictures of something they like and get them to interact. For instance, if they love animals, show them a book featuring pictures of animals and ask them to choose their favourite cat or dog. Perhaps they love cars or motorbikes. Again, they can point to their favourite vehicle, or they may be able to tell you. If they’re looking at a car magazine for instance,, it may trigger a memory and perhaps even a conversation about a car they owned in the past.
Don’t ask questions that require recall
Never ask about previous events such as what they’ve done or eaten that day. This can only lead to frustration or confusion, as the person may not remember.
Animals can be great therapy for a person with dementia. If they like pets, and it’s safe for someone to visit them with a dog or a cat, then it should be positively encouraged. Animals can be petted, which can be relaxing, and the person can interact with them without needing to have a conversation or remember anything.
There will of course be times when you do need to ask the person questions about what they would like to eat or do on a given day. How can you do this if the person is struggling to process information?
Here’s some tips:
Time it right – don’t ask questions or try to interact too much if the person is clearly tired or having a bad day.
Turn the TV off or the radio down so that the person won’t be distracted when you talk to them. Make sure the room is quiet when you speak.
Keep questions short and direct. If you are asking what the person wants to eat, don’t give them too much information.
How to relay information well…
Keep it simple, slow and repetitive, but don’t speak in an exaggerated ‘baby talk’ voice.
Don’t raise your voice unless the person is hard of hearing.
Be prepared to repeat information several times.
Make sure the person can see you when you’re talking to them. Try to be at eye level with them, even if it means crouching down, but always be sure to respect their personal space.
If the person doesn’t understand you, break information down into smaller chunks so that they can process it more easily.
Don’t ask complex questions that involve the person understanding more than one thing at once. A question such as ‘Would you like a cup of tea now or would you prefer to wait until later on?’ is an example of this. Get the person’s attention and then start with their name, and say ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’
If the person tells you you’re wrong about something, even if it’s not the case it can be helpful to go along with what they’re telling you, rather than contradicting them. They may get agitated if you correct them.
Silence is not a bad thing
There may be times when you visit the person and they want company without lots of conversation. If they prefer to have you around without conversation then it’s fine to accept that.